Lisa Marie Presley’s Happiness

RIVERSIDE, CA.  It’s late, or maybe early in the morning, and my musings turn towards Lisa Marie Presley, conspiracy theories, and Dick Van Dyke.

I think she is the unhappiest girl in the world.  I write girl because I think there is a perpetual 9-year old girl still inside LMP and stuck in August 16, 1977.   The memories of her dad are the unreliable memories of a 9-year old girl and I think that troubles her.  Elvis is the most famous man in the world and she doesn’t know him and can’t trust her memories about him.

Elvis, Priscilla, Lisa & Riley

(L-R) Elvis, Priscilla, Lisa & Riley (grandaughter)

Maybe she’s happy.  I don’t know, but there always seems to be a deep, longing sadness in her eyes.

LMP seems to have made efforts to distinguish herself from her famous father.  It looks like she has succeeded in distancing herself and has become her own person.  Maybe she should have ran towards her dad’s shadow rather than running away from it.  I wonder what kind of singer she would be today if she embraced her dad’s legacy as her own.  Could LMP’s sultry voice have been as strong and unique as her dad’s if she had remained in his shadow?

Maybe she’s pissed.

What if the conspiracy is true and Elvis faked his death.  What if he assumed the identity of his dead twin, Jesse Garon, and has been alive all these years and living in secret.  It would be a tough, heart-wrenching secret to keep.

Jesse/Elvis w/grandson Benjamin Keough

Alleged photo of Jesse/Elvis with grandson Benjamin Keough.  1994.

Linda Sigmon-Hood is convinced Elvis is alive.  She is the self-proclaimed, personal friend of Jesse/Elvis and his confidant since he allegedly faked his death.  Spend enough time reading through her website and you may almost be convinced Sigmon-Hood is telling the truth.  She is either bonkers or telling the gospel truth.

Dick Van DykeMaybe the photo above is a picture of Dick Van Dyke with one of his grandchildren as one debunker suggested on her website.  Sigmon-Hood emphatically disputes the suggestion.  She seems to dispute a lot of things with legal threats.

What does Linda Sigmon-Hood look like?  What if she has been the victim of the longest, running catfish scam before the term was ever coined with the advent of social media?  Good, old fashion letters were once a form of manual, social media.

Whoa!  That was quite the hound dog chasing the rabbit down an offbeat trail, but now we’re back.

I believe Lisa Marie Presley is the saddest girl in the world.  I believe Elvis is dead.  I believe LMP misses her daddy.  I believe she can’t remember her daddy the way she wants to remember him.

That’s sad.

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